Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
try to milk me bitch
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
