Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
