You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
cat food counts as protein by the way
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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