I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
