I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
