Apparently you make a good broom.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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