eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
