hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
