never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
