Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
