my vag is so smooth its legendary
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
