Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
