I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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