he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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