its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
