Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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