Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
