You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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