I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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