my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
