And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
