no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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