just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
