Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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