I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
