what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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