either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
