You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
That accounts for only three of the penises
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
