So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize