I'm lost and stupid without you.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
