it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
