i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
home. puking in laundry basket.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
