Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize