I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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