you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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