I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
