is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
