I'm so fucking centered right now
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
