jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
