If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
