Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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