I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
