I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Randomize
