She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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