This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize