Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
