So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
worst night to have a conscience
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
