Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
