What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
