I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
