Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
