so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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