oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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