he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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