Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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