Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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