This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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