margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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