the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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