u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
