It's Friday. Sex?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
