He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
